Sometimes we cave, we give up. We realize the fight we're fighting is just never going to end. We are never going to win. We just make the same stupid mistakes over and over again. We fight, we kill, we hurt. We still don't win. We get hurt, we get weaker and we get tired. That's all we get for trying. There is no prize at the end of the rope. There is no freaking magical thing that will make all of this worth it. There just isn't. For some of us, the fight is just there to make us realize we don't deserve the prize. The fight is just about surviving.
I'm caving, I'm giving up. I'm done with making myself vulnerable just to get crushed even harder than the last time. I've fought, I've hurt, I've never won. I just got tired. I barely survived. I'm done. I'm a survivor. That's all there is for me. Surviving. There is no prize at the end of the rope for me. There's just the plain satisfaction that I didn't die trying.
Let us drink to that. Let's have fun tonight.