Thursday, March 26, 2009

I've survived worst...

Maybe we do. Maybe we need to go through all this crap to step up. Maybe I do. Maybe I need to go through all that crap to, one day, eventually, step up. It hurts, it hurts to realize life is not a fairy tale. It hurts to realize maybe I will not have what many have found. Maybe my battle is bigger. Maybe my fight is just epic. Maybe I just need some time to heal. I've been hurt, I've wounded. I'm still standing.

I said I'm tired and I am. I am dark and twisted inside. Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe, just maybe, it's a strength. Maybe its what makes it all come into shape. Maybe I am the kind of person that makes things ok, and I've never noticed it. Maybe I help. Maybe I am dark and twisted inside because that's the way I cope. I deal with things in a different way. I deal with pain in unorthodox ways, but at the end I get pass them.

I've survived worst. I've seen worst. Don't you get it? Is that all you've got? Hit me harder. I'll deal. I'll cope. I'll survive. I'll end up even stronger. I am not afraid. Don't you ever mistake this for weakness. Don't you ever, for a second, think you broke me. I survive. That is what I've done my whole life. I've been so close to breaking and I haven't. I know there is a reason. I know I'm sitting here with all this pain because I needed to feel. I need to learn how to feel. I need to understand this kind of pain. I'll get better. I'll find my way.

Don't you dare pity me. Don't you dare come back. I've said my goodbyes. I've survived worst. I've said no before. Don't you dare try to make it all right. I want you out. I've sent him home, you're just one more. I've survived worst. Get your crap and close the door.

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