Sunday, September 27, 2009

Keep you from pain

I guess we could play. I guess we could pretend. We've said too much, we know too much. We could still pretend. Haven't we always? I have. I always forgave, I always forgot. As long as you held me close. I've had enough. I could have pretended I care. I could have done so much to keep you from pain. I decided not to. I decided it was time for you to realize I'm not yours now and always.

You've said it once. We could never work as one. You've broken my dreams, my soul and my only hope. Why should I care? Why should I protect you from pain? Don't say a word. Don't give me that look. You have never cared. You never protected me from hurting. I did hurt. I did cry. I did try to make it all right. It's not me who threw it all away. Stop judging. Stop trying to make me feel as if I was the one who ruined it.

I saw your from across the room. Our eyes met. We said it all. It's over. We have never spoken with words. It only takes one look, one hand shake, one kiss. We just know. I think you know, don't come begging me for more. No explanations needed, that was our very first agreement. We always thought you'd be the one saying goodbye. It turns out it was I who got tired of the game. I don't love you anymore.

We've played too much. I'm done with all the games. I'm done with all the lies, all the backstabbing, all the hiding, all the cheating. I'm stepping out of the shadows. I'm done being your dirty little secret. It's too late for you to come back and apologize. It's too late for excuses, it's too late for conquering fears. I don't want you anymore. I'm done. You're out. Turn around and never come back.