Wednesday, September 24, 2014

A bad day

Most of the time, I can live normally. Every day, I think less and less about you. Somedays, the good days, I don't have a single thought regarding you. Those days, I actually think I can love again. Those goods days make me say yes to dates and talk to people. I even let them tell me things I only let myself hear from you. These good days are becoming more and more common. I'm starting to have more good days than bad ones. 
Today was not a good day. Today, I thought of how much I miss your lips. I remembered you how my heart trembled with just the sight of you. Oh, no, it was not a good day. I kept hearing your voice. I kept feeling your hands on me. I kept feeling my skin crawl because of your absence. 
Then you came. Like you always do. You made me remember why I can't think of being with someone else. You made me realize why I am so confused, so broken. 
I thought I was letting you go. I even made a statement out of it. I had this thing confusing me, and I thought I was finally getting rid of you and feeling for someone else. 
Then you looked at me. It is like you never left. I continue to ignore what keeps me from getting back to you. Just this moment. Please don't take that away from me. 
My ego was bruised and you came back to fix it. You made sure no else had that kind of power over me. You just make it better by making it worse. You heal me to leave me, once again, in the highest tower. Today, it's ok for me to have a bad day. Today, I need to remember you by and think of you. Because you did hurt me. You made me remember what it feels to be hurt, not bruised. You bring back all this darkness and loneliness. You make me realize I can't cry for someone else because you used up all the tears I had. 
I have been hurt by you. Nobody else can touch me. Nobody else can make me tremble with anger, despair, and love. I thought I was getting rid of you. I guess today its OK to hold on just a little stronger. 

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