There is no doubt that the most hurtful things and the most damage someone can ever feel are said or done by the people we love the most. I don't care if people like me or not, I care when people I have given my heart to don't even remember they have it. It hurts a lot, and maybe Im just overdramatic, but thats how I feel. Men can not care about me and use me and Im fine with that, but if one of my friends yells at me or just doesnt care if we spend time together I just break. The other day one of the most important persons in my life told me he didnt care if I went out with him... he said he had his girlfriend. I know I have no right, and Im certainly not as important as her, but it hurted so much I cried almost an entire day. Its kind of sad when you realize you never come first. Maybe thats why I want to be in-love, to know how it feels to spend every minute left with me. Maybe Im not fun enogh for that. Maybe Im only good enough when people are single, or maybe... and I believe this is the right answer, its just I have never been in love and the closest thing Ive been is loving my friends. I've been selfish many times but I believe I have never intentionally tried to hurt someone with my words, at least not my friends or never told them "hey I dont care if u are there" just because. The last few days Ive been yelled at and ignored. People have been mad at me but have not stoped to wonder why I dont want to leave my house. Why doing anything at all hurts me, and why I've been crying non-stop. Im loosing one of my dearest friends because of distance, because Im just not good enough. I guess, he's also tired of me and my crying. That makes me very sad. Also, Ive lost my pacience and I dont want to be taken for granted anymore, I dont want to be yelled at, hurted and insulted by someone, not even my best friend. Im done, Im done with many things, especially me.
I guess people are done with me too.