Monday, January 03, 2011

Doorstep

The door just opened. She had been out all day. She had been doing all those things we all do when we really have nothing to do. She filled her days with meaningless tasks and chores. She was a very very busy woman. She had been for so long. She had found the perfect amount of work, friends and hobbies. She always came home late. She dreaded the time she found herself with after a long day's work. She couldn't have any time to spare. It was too painful, it was unbearable.

When loneliness came in she would start to remember. She would start to wonder how everything might have been if she had just said yes. It was too much. What if she had jumped off that bridge? What if she had fallen? What if he actually had been there to catch her? She couldn't bear the thought of loving him. She just could face the fact that she did. She invented a hundred excuses to covert up the fact that she was utterly and completely in love with him.

He stood there. He had been waiting for her in that same doorstep where she felt the need to put all those useless things. That doorstep she remodeled as soon as he left. That same freaking doorstep she trashed down and put back together three times. She just couldn't stand the fact that something in there could remind her of him. She had to make it all go away, all those memories, all those images that kept flooding her head. She could see him standing right there. She still could smell him waiting for her to open the door.

He said he loved her. He said he would do whatever it took to make it work. He said he would always wait for her to realize they belonged together. She was a no-plan kind of girl. He was the perfect planner. She was random. He was as predictable as they come. She was loud. He was low. She laughed until her stomach hurt. He would just paint a smile. She was scared as hell. He was confident enough to let her go.

She heard a knock on the door. She hoped, with all her heart, she pleaded for it to be him. She wanted to hold him, to tell him he was right. She really needed that guy that would open the door for her not because of her fragility but because he wanted to. She really needed the guy that understood she was fragile inside and loved her enough to take care of her without making her feel vulnerable.

She walked as fast as she could to the door and opened it. She held her breath for exactly 5 seconds. Just as she had hoped, he was standing right there. She only had to take 3 steps and hug him. She just had to say those 3 words and everything would be OK. He would figure it out. She wanted him to take care of everything and save her from her million useless tasks and chores.

She was about to say it. She opened her mouth. She said goodbye. He said hello.

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