Bring it...

We try to grow. We try so hard to find ourselves acting the way we should, saying exactly what we are supposed to say, loving the way it is meant to. We fool ourselves, we lie, we cheat, we find air between our wings. We play, we make everyone believe.

I've tried. I've said enough, and then went back for more. Give me pain. Give me all those things we are not supposed to feel. I want you bad. I want to break and mend you one more time.

We try to make it all go away. We try to step up and be the best version of ourselves. We fail. We've failed miserably over and over again. We go back. All it takes is one look, one word. We've tried to stop and then we've ended up even more broken. We keep getting on this merry-go-round. My head is spinning, my heart is raising. I want to hurt you. I want to touch you. I want to love you.

We might get burnt, we might hurt. I don't ever want to let you go. I want to say I loved you. I want to say you broke me. I want to say I miss you. I want to say I need you. I want you to hold me when I'm scared. I want to wake up in your bed. I want to wear your jacket when its cold. I want to posses your soul.

Bring the pain. Bring the games. Break me once again. Bring the lies. Bring the tears. Make me feel alive again.

When we get lonely we start asking stupid questions. We start wondering what could have happened had we acted in different ways in the past. We start finding mistakes we never made. We start thinking all our rights might have been wrongs.

I hate getting lonely. I hate looking around me and finding that I've become this sure thing. I'm always the single one. People have just stopped asking. People have just came to the conclusion I'll never need an extra ticket for a wedding. People just know I'll be filling the fifth seat in the car. People know I'm the one to call when they break up, when they need to talk or go shopping.

I hate being so dependable. I hate being the one who's always being set up. I hate being the "single friend" you have to meet. I hate being this great catch nobody wants to get. I hate being so damn good, so damn nice, so damn intelligent. I'm tired. I'm tired of being too much for everyone. I'm tired of waiting for someone to be good enough. I just need someone to be good.