Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ever After...

There is this moment. One moment, the one you can either turn into fire or just burn down. It's a turning point, a definite second that changes your whole life. I had one of those with you. I had it, and I didn't turn into fire. I could have loved you forever, its true. I could have been your only one, your dreams, your hopes, the love of your life. You could have been my words, my life, my colors, my entire world. We could have been great, this amazing thing everybody looks for and no one ever finds.
That moment is just a random second that changes everything. It's just a stupid word that just freezes everything and from that moment on, nothing ever becomes what it was supposed to be. If you had said green instead of red, I would have been there all my life. Its just this feeling I can't begin to explain. Something in my heart just breaking, a tiny little crack that starts letting all this love drain away from it. It starts to disappear, drop by drop, word by word, look by look, until it is all gone.
What do you do when you stop loving the love of your life? What happens when your life's greatest story just fades away? How do you say it's over when you are supposed to be together forever?
I can't say I didn't try. I did try to fix it, mend my broken heart. I tried to glue it back together with happy memories, then with laughter and finally with sex. It did not work. It is broken beyond repair. I am sorry. I do ache whenever I remember your voice, your smell, even the way you breath around me. I hurt every time I try to forget. I do want to cry every chance I get. Because I loved you more than anyone. Because I felt whole, complete, filled with love.
It hurts to realize that, this crack in my heart will drain all the love I ever try to pour in. From now on, I will not love the same. From this moment on I will have some love, but it will eventually fade.
This is what happens when you say forever. This is what happens when you're meant to be together. This is what happens after the fairy tale is over. This is what happens after you read "ever after".

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