Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Soñar no cuesta nada

Es muy feito ser el tipo de persona que solo sueña. Es horrible mirar atrás y sólo encontrar sueños, deseos, frustraciones de lo que pudo ser y nunca fue. Creo que soy esa persona del ya vendrá. Soy a las que le dicen, vendran tiempos mejores, porque sí, el actual es medio gris. A veces siento que una nube gris se ha estacionado de manera permanente sobre mí. No es bonito pero así lo siento. Hay días que la impotencia puede más y me dan ganas de dejarme. Me da flojera levantarme siendo la misma, con la misma vida, viendo a todos partir y yo siempre aquí. Viendo a todos crecer y yo ser siempre la misma pequeñita asustada. Me choca ser el puerto al que se regrese, inamovible y seguro. Quiero salir, quiero vivir. Creo que no soy ese tipo de persona. Toda mi vida he sido "watcher", nunca "doer". I just stand in the sidelines hoping some "doer" will turn my way and find something interesting in me. I know I have tryed to find it, but I guess its not there. Its kind of sad to look at the mirror and see, not only sadness, but simplicity. Im not only sad but simple. There's nothing great about that reflection and what lies inside is just as vain and "unspecial" as the outside. With me you can sort of judge with the cover.
I would love to have some great stories to tell, I have none. I'd love to have something more than what I hope or dream. Is just not enough, at leas not for me. I have what I feared to have as a child, an ordinary life. There's nothing extra special, exciting in it. Im just walsing through life as a ghost, a phantom whose esence is bearly percpetible for those who have an actual body. I truly hate where Im standing not only because is sad, but because there's nothing to tell.


*~PinkTangerine~* said...

Si no tuvieras 3 lites me late uqe te pasaba un libro. Has visto esa palícula? A less ordinary life, con Ewan Mcgregor y Cameron Diaz, muy buena. I cant really say much cause I find myself in the same situation like half the time, but anyhow, just trust me when I say that there is nothing simple about you, not one bit. In fact, you are one of the most complicated people Ive ever met! It doesnt sound too good but, its meant in a good way.Remeber those books laying on the floors of libraries, piles of them. There is nothing special bout them and youll read and maybe think that these are words and words and nothing else but the truth is, if you were a book, youd be hiden inside one of those amazing libraries with one copy of each, only carrying originals and selling them only the right person. Imagine all the ones that will be running for that pretty cover and that amazing content. Recuerda, "fondo y forma" Hugs

Manzana Marina said...

I agree with the Tangerine. You're not simple at all... and I think you know it... for sure I'm not the right person to say this (I'm the audience of other's life, anyway) but they say la pelouse semble toujours plus verte de l'autre côté de la clôture. Et ça c'est juste une illusion. Je purrais très bien te dire de venir chez moi et regarder ma vie, tu trouverais rien de très exitant non plus. Supongo que así pasa con todos. Hasta la Queen Elizabeth debe sentirse a veces olvidada en un rincón... y si no, es mejor pensar que sí, entonces hay que pensarlo.
N'oublie jamais qui tu es, tu es l'étoile; petite, lointane... mais brillante.

humantree said...

believe, in the star.
there's a tree who does.