A scary thought

I feel the pain draining out of me
I feel relief when I should feel nothing but,

I can close my eyes now
I can see my own little star
So far away I can only imagine
I can only trust she's really mine
Hurting over hurted skin
thats just being me
Crying over cried tears
thats just how its always been

Its funny I have slims wrists
Maybe its just a sign of how it should be
Maybe its destiny making fun of me
A scary thought crossing my mind
A horrible truth I can no longer hide

Ive ben hurted over and over again
Why cant I do it to myself?
Why should I not be destructive?
Why should I even care?
Is it so wrong to feel numb when it comes to pain?
Is it so wrong wanting it all to fade?

Why should I be ashamed of wanting to disappear?
Why should I think about it and never tell?
Im in no position to live or love
Ive been damaged enough
Im in no position to ask for someone to care
Im slowly dying everyday

One little drop, one single scar
just let me get the strenght next time
let me have one last chance
A new try to push hard
I'll wait looking by the window
passing lifes and careless people

One day the day will come
One day that´s all I hope
One day it will go away
One day I will just fade